When you cry so much that your eyes hurt

We went to my uncle’s funeral this weekend. It was a long drive down & back for the kids, but my husband asked for the day off so he could be with us. My eyes hurt for almost 24 hours after the funeral because of all the crying I did that day. I wasn’t especially close to my dad’s identical twin, but knowing they really ARE identical & have so far had the same health issues contributed to my sadness.

There were a couple funny stories of the twin brothers in their upper teenage years. I could have used more of them, frankly. The picture slide show that my cousin put together was awesome. She had many of my uncle’s beautiful wife who lost a horrible battle with cancer when she was still young. She had a few of the twins – in military uniforms, graduation gowns, and with their respective wives.

My dad stopped taking his medications about a month ago. His diabetes, heart disease, and Alzheimer’s are now being left untreated. My sister thinks he has given up and wants to join his brother and parents. I think he wants to still be able to control SOMETHING in his life and the only thing he has left is whether he eats and takes his medications.

In some ways, it would be a blessing for him to go as quickly as his brother.

We, his family who loves him, just don’t want to let him go yet.

I can feel the tears welling up again. I don’t think my eyes can take much more. They still ache from the funeral.

About doucementgently

I'm a thirty-something female with loads of kids, a great husband, and lots of things on my mind. I plan on blogging about homeschooling, personal finance, the economy in the U.S., politics, family life, and the things my children do.
This entry was posted in death in the family, Family, stories and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to When you cry so much that your eyes hurt

  1. Pingback: Losing a Father is Hard « Learning As I Go

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