Homeschool Myths

I was reminded of this list recently as I was reading back posts on the Well-Trained Mind Forums about banishing common homeschool myths.

It is worth it to repeat some of them here as either I or one of my friends run into at least one of these weekly:

2 Learn what the words “socialize” and “socialization” mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you’re talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we’ve got a decent grasp of both concepts.

7 We don’t look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they’re in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we’re doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

10 We didn’t go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn’t have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don’t need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can’t teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there’s a reason I’m so reluctant to send my child to school.

12 If my kid’s only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he’d learn in school, please understand that you’re calling me an idiot. Don’t act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

16 Don’t ask my kid if she wouldn’t rather go to school unless you don’t mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn’t rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17 Stop saying, “Oh, I could never homeschool!” Even if you think it’s some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you’re horrified. One of these days, I won’t bother disagreeing with you any more.

18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you’re allowed to ask how we’ll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can’t, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn’t possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child’s teacher as well as her parent. I don’t see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he’s homeschooled. It’s not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

Isn’t Socialization A Concern?

I was having a discussion this evening with a neighbor whom I also consider a friend. We have known each other 3+ years and her youngest is the same age as my oldest. We both love that our neighborhood contains oodles of children who hang out together and rove from house to house by two and threes or in a big pack. There are eleven kids between the ages of four and eleven in our cul-de-sac.

So, this neighbor and I were talking about school work – her kid’s and my kids’. The conversation turned to an acquaintance whose child just started kindergarten at the local public school. The teacher called the child’s mother the first week of school to let her know that the teacher believed the child already knew everything that would be covered that year in Kindergarten. The mother was glad of the phone call and asked what the next step would be. The teacher didn’t know, but assured the family that they would be involved at every step of the process. They were involved, although they had to push to get things moving past that one phone call. After over a month of testing and meetings, the school admitted that this five-year old wouldn’t get much academically out of first grade. He was beyond that level. The school would not even consider putting him into second grade. The parents of this advanced child have decided to pull him from the school at mid-term and homeschool him so that he can work at his own level in each subject.

My neighbor/friend asked in a somewhat offended tone, “So homeschooling is the only option?”

I was taken aback by the tone and the question and responded that it wasn’t the only option, but it was the one the family had chosen. Being able to personalize curriculum to your child’s level seems like a great option to me. It was my friend’s next comment that truly floored me.

“Well, that child will definitely have social issues.”

I queried her as to what she meant. I thought, “Surely, she isn’t worried about socialization?!?”

Indeed, she firmly insisted that the child will now be removed from his peers and “isolated” at home. His ability to fit into a group, deal with other people, and have friends would be in jeopardy. She pointed out that there would be a social stigma on this child and that every child needs the interaction that schools provide in order to get them “ready for college [socially].”

I was shocked. Not by the sentiment, of course. I have run across this idea from relatives, former co-workers, friends, and strangers. But, this neighbor had always seemed to accept (our) homeschooling as a positive option and I had never heard her express a negative opinion about it. Did she think that my children would be socially inept if I continued to homeschool them all the way through high school? The same children she sees almost daily interact happily with all the other kids on our block? I was amazed.

Coincidentally, I am currently reading a book called “The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling” by Rachel Gathercole. I’m not far enough into the book to see if it would address my friend’s concerns.

In the meantime, what are other options for really-far-advanced Kindergartners in a small town? Heck, what are other options in a big city? Would a private school have more options for this family? What would you do with a five-year old who was reading at a third grade level already?

Review: Haystack Full of Needles by Alice Gunther

Haystack Full of Needles
A Catholic Home Educator’s Guide to Socialization
by Alice Gunther

I had never heard of Alice Gunther. But the subtitle intrigued me.

The foreword was written by Laura Berquist. But I’m not big on reading the ‘latest, greatest’ book on any topic when it is still hot off the press. I prefer to wait until the fervor has died down and pick it up at the local library.

Chances of my local library ever having a copy of this book:  extremely low.

So, I ended up ordering three copies before the book was published. I always pass along books I like to my friends, but for some reason, I thought this might make a good ‘gift’ book for other Catholic homeschooling moms.

After reading it, I am even more firmly of this belief – especially if you want to put some of the author’s suggestions into practice in your own homeschool community.

I wasn’t sure what to expect with this book. I had a vague impression from reading various online reviews that it would be useful to read and have in my library. A friend thought it would be full of practical advice on homeschooling activities to celebrate Catholic events and activities with other home educators. Perhaps the book would offer answers to the “socialization” question that homeschoolers often get. Haystack was these things, yet trying to sum it up with just that would be untrue.

Mrs. Gunther tells many stories of her own throughout the book – her journey to homeschooling, finding fellow hikers on the road less traveled, and highlights or summaries of her and her children’s favorite activities. These are enjoyable in themselves, but they are by no means the “meat” of the book.

The author points out that there are two different types of “socialization” that people wonder about – 1) “learning to relate to others” and 2) “having friends, fun, and a satisfying social life.” She deals mostly with the latter with many practical suggestions for finding other home educators, planning activities, attending events, adjusting for different age groups or genders, and a lot more.

After reading the book, one of my gift recipients admitted to being disappointed. She was disappointed that she doesn’t live near the author. Would we be able to implement any of Mrs. Gunther’s recommendations with such a small group of Catholic homeschoolers in our area? (We number only four families in our little community.) Looking closely, there are very few suggested activities that we would not be able to do, albeit on a small scale. We lack only the time and energy of the moms to organize them.

One emphasis of the author is on the pattern of three elements which have made for enjoyable activities: coffee, prayer, and simplicity. She also suggests planning things in six week chunks to make them more manageable.

The aspect of the book that I personally enjoyed the most was her comforting look back at her oldest two children – as they were when first starting out and now, so many years later. She leaves this book to inspire, reassure, and guide home educating parents on their own journey. Use it as a map, a compass, or a field guide, depending on where you are on the road less traveled.

While I plan to loan my copy out to other Catholic and non-Catholic home educators and friends, I am glad I bought it. With enough prayer, courage, and energy, I will attempt to implement one or two of the author’s suggestions in my own little neck of the woods. I would encourage you to buy, beg, or borrow this book. It is worth the read . . . and the re-read!

Hillside Education
www.hillsideeducation.com
$12.95
More reviews can be found here.

Arrived! (Currently Reading): Haystack Full of Needles

Postmarked 8/1 & 8/2 (I ordered three books, two arrived in one envelope, one arrived in a separate envelope), three brand new copies of this book arrived at my house on 8/4. I’m trying to squeeze in a chapter here & a chapter there, but I’m finding that I want to savor a bit more so I’ve already gone back to do some re-reading and I’m only on Chapter 4.

Haystack Full of Needles by Alice Gunther is subtitled “A Catholic Home Educator’s Guide to Socialization.” In what I have read so far, Alice has painted a picture of her own journey to home educating and is starting to show both how she was able to find other homeschoolers and how the reader can reach out in a variety of ways to find other people who teach their children at home. Not only that, but she makes the case that it is very important for the parents to have a good network of home educating friends, not just friends for the kids.

Let me know if you received your book yet and what you think. I’ll be sure to post my book review and opinion when I am done.

On Order

I ran across this book yesterday and read many of the reviews. I follow the blog of one of the author’s friends. I put one order in for myself and two for Catholic homeschool mom friends of mine. I’ll write a review once it arrives & I get it read.