Analogies

I love analogies. When I find myself facing something I have to explain, I search my mind for a proper analogy and trot it out. It has come in handy several times when explaining my craziness to my spouse.

One that I come back to again and again is the similarities between potty training and learning to read.

Hear me out.

First, the social stigma or look-down-the-nose-upon those whose children are not potty training by a certain age or reading by a certain age.

There is pride in some parents when their child is potty trained or reading at a much younger age than ‘normal’ (whatever “normal” is). There is despair in the minds of other parents when either of these two abilities is delayed much past ‘normal.’

Secondly, some parents spend quite a bit of time trying to train their child in the science of proper elimination of their bodily waste. Most homeschooling parents spend quite a bit of time training their children in the mechanics of reading (phonics, sight words, blending, etc.) unless the child figures it out at a young age on their own.

Third, plenty of parents bang their heads against the wall, figuratively, when their child doesn’t seem to be able to properly perform the task which the parent is attempting to train them in repeatedly.

I have found that I have absolutely nothing to do with my child making that final leap that allows them to be properly reading or potty training. Something inside their head just “clicks” and while one day they cannot do the task, the next they can. In our house, we also have set-backs and tough days after the “clicking” takes place, but there is such a noticeable difference in ability that a new pattern quickly emerges.

Anyway, I just wanted to encourage those out there facing either of these two sometimes seemingly insurmountable tasks. Keep gently showing the proper steps and behaviors for a few minutes each day. Don’t despair and don’t get upset. Unless there is something physical that is not right and impeding the process, when the “click” occurs in your child’s brain, all the ground work you are laying with help them succeed all the more.  This can make the difference between a child who automatically washes their hands after using the restroom and one who just leaves the bathroom. Your patience can determine if you spawn a life-long love of reading or a sullen peace treaty between your child and books.

Good luck!

 

Ongoing: Potty Training

So, several weeks ago, my husband had a couple of weeks off work for a trip we were supposed to take. We ended up coming home extremely early due to illness, so we took advantage of the opportunity to potty train our Child #4. You would think we would be experts. Heck, we’d trained three others, right? . . . Not hardly.

Fast forward to today. Child #4 is mostly trained. He’s dry all night almost every night. He’s dry all day, almost every day. The issue with going #2, however, is still being worked on.

We had a full day today with a homeschool start-of-school picnic and field day. This evening, the older four children were out playing with friends in the neighborhood when Child #2 comes rushing into me with an emergency:  Child #4 has just taking care of his business in his shorts and it is running down his leg – and he’s in the neighbor’s yard.

I grab the baby, quickly exit the house and put the baby in the stroller for Child #1 to watch. I grab Child #4 and carry him, crying/screaming (alternately for his father and for the other kids to “go ‘way!”) back to the house, remove his shoes, and take him to get cleaned up.

I quickly realized that the last time he went potty, he didn’t put his “big boy pants” back on, so there was nothing to stop the bodily fluids. Good news: His underwear was clean. The bad news: He needed a bath. His shorts needed a complete cleaning prior to the wash. Then, I needed to bleach the tub.

When I came back outside with my spray bottle of bleach and water to clean up the neighbor’s stone walkway, the neighbor-father was already spraying down the area with a hose.

My husband arrived and asked what was going on. I filled him in. His reply?

“You have $h!) on your shirt. . . . This is why we are considered the White Trash of the neighborhood.”

Potty Training – Week 2

We are into week #2 with potty training Child #3. After two days with no success, we ran into a string of great days (5-7) with one or no accidents. There was only one snag. This child would wait until I put her into a diaper for the night and then poop in it.

By the time Day 8 came around, she couldn’t always hold the poop until the night diaper was put on, so we’ve had a string of days with poop in the underwear. In fact, last night she pooped twice in her underwear within a span of about three hours. She has YET to poop in the potty. She is doing well with peeing in the potty – although she averages about one (peeing) accident a day still if I don’t remind her to go periodically.

She is usually dry come morning, although if she drinks a LOT of water and then stays up for an hour or two, she has been known to be soaking wet around 10 p.m. She doesn’t yet want to actually get up, go to the bathroom, take her diaper off, pee, and then come to me to get the diaper put back on. This is not a big deal at this point.

So, I would say she is 1/3 potty trained as we end day 11 of this saga.

Potty Training – Day 4

So, Child #3 is older than any of the other kids (so far) when attempting potty training. Well, we’ve tried it several other times, but each time was so unsuccessful that we gave up. It was a readiness thing.

But, for the past couple of months, I have known this child was ready. The child was just not willing. Frustrating.

Armed with the threat that this child will not be going to the pool with us if not potty trained, I started again on Thursday. I knew my spouse would be off work for several days after that and that I would have some ‘back up’ help for Days 2 – 6 or so. This is important because I lose focus and sometimes forget about the child who will leak all over the floor without a reminder.

Anyway, I picked starting when spouse was at work because the first day is always really ugly. And it was. Wet, wet, wet, sopping, dripping. Horrible.

The problem was that Day 2 was the same way. Two days. No successes. Nothing. Nada.

Day 3 was very similar up until nap time. I put Child #3 in a diaper with the instructions to “poop.” About 20 minutes later, Child #3 announced that a change was necessary. I KNEW it! This child CAN do it – and was just waiting for the security of the diaper to do it in. (My spouse took this as a very depressing event and was ready to give up again. Not me. This was my proof that this child was READY to potty train.) Shortly after, we had success #1 on the potty (pee). After a long dry break, we had success #2 right before bed.

So, I started Day 4 knowing it is one step forward and two back. Strangely, we only had one “oops” today and it was late in the day. This child can sit and pee on demand, but will not poop on the potty yet. Also, there is not yet any idea of the “feel the urge, hold it, run for the potty” trick. It is all based on timing of the requests by the parents.

We will continue on. The pool opens in less than a week. It will be harder with ‘school’ going on. We are just doing testing, so it won’t be as tough as a “normal” school week to fit in potty breaks.